About Kailey
Kailey Delayne (she/they) is a queer, holistic sex educator certified by the Institute of Sexual Education and Enlightenment (ISEE). They focus on helping other queer adults work through their sexual shame. By understanding the mechanisms of shame, connecting to pleasure, and building communication skills, clients and students can learn to disengage from shame and develop more authentic relationships with themselves and others.
Kailey has been working as a freelance sex educator since 2019, creating workshops and events for the community in her hometown of Durham, NC. They have also collaborated with the Triangle Health Educators (THEC), a collective in the NC Triangle area that trains medical students to provide trauma-informed and gender-inclusive pelvic exams. Currently, Kailey resides in South Philly, where they are pursuing an M.Ed in Human Sexuality from Widener University.
Kailey loves to acknowledge their teachers who guide them in the work of pleasure and liberation: adrienne maree brown, author of Pleasure Activism; Audre Lorde, particularly her work The Uses of the Erotic; writer and scholar Sophie Strand; Lama Rod Owens; poet Andrea Gibson; the Earth; and many others.
My Philosophy
I recognize that not all bodies are seen and treated equally and that various levels of oppression intersect across different identities. This understanding drives my commitment to a feminist andrological philosophy in my work. This theory views classrooms as liberatory spaces where students form a diverse learning community that relies on collective knowledge rather than the authority of a single instructor. Through collaboration, imagination, dialogue, and self-reflection, students build confidence and self-efficacy to understand and uphold their own values.
In practice, this approach involves workshops where participants identify their social positionalities and explore how these influence their reception of the course material and the classroom dynamics. Participants are encouraged to share their experiences and often break into groups to discuss the personal impact of the subject matter. This process of sharing and comparing experiences creates bonds, releases shame over shared experiences, and broadens understanding of diverse perspectives. As a facilitator, I integrate these discussions and stories with the subject matter, making each workshop a unique and enriching learning environment.
In addition to a feminist andrological lens, I employ a critical theory approach that values curiosity and questioning dominant cultural norms. Pleasure-centered sex education inherently challenges the dominant scripts that reduce sexuality to sterile and binary categories, making this approach a natural fit. By presenting myself as a facilitator and collaborator, rather than an authority figure, I encourage participants to question my contributions and share their own experiences. This humanizes me as an educator and recognizes the participants as individuals with both realized and unrealized knowledge.
Above all, I center collaboration in these workshop spaces to co-create and imagine new ways to generate compassion for how we feel about and respond to shame. Through this co-creation, we collectively heal and disrupt the systems that benefit from our shame.